


help me breathe

by tal_5



Series: harry potter/hogwarts au [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Crush, Comfort/Angst, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Secret Crush, Short & Sweet, Teen Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tal_5/pseuds/tal_5
Summary: Janus studies for his exams, a dull throbbing in his head reminding him of the stress.The words blend and transform on the page, spelling out each and every mistake he's made, and every mistake he will ever make. That low mark he received on a class test a few months ago. No, it won't impact his final grade, but if he can't even pass one insignificant test, how is he supposed to attain the grades he needs in his actual exams?Luckily, Patton's there to help.
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: harry potter/hogwarts au [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741744
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	help me breathe

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: death mention

_"Common Defensive Theories... and Their Derivations,"_ Janus murmurs through a yawn.

Beside him, Patton laughs softly, glancing up from his notes to look on sympathetically as Janus taps the top of his page. "Isn't that the fourth time you've read that chapter?"

Janus shakes his head. "Only the title."

"Oh, Janus," Patton says in his usual tone of mild concern, affection dripping from every syllable. "You need to take a break, bud."

Instead of following Patton's advice, Janus merely huffs and trails the lines in his textbook with his finger. His mismatched eyes soon cloud over and it's obvious he's lost focus again. But still, Patton says nothing.

The words blend and transform on the page, spelling out each and every mistake he's made, and every mistake he will ever make. That low mark he received on a class test a few months ago. No, it won't impact his final grade, but if he can't even pass one insignificant test, how is he supposed to attain the grades he needs in his actual exams?

Sighing heavily, Janus leans his forehead against the cool surface of the desk, pushing back his textbook and attempting to set it aflame with his mind. Though, he treads lightly, as it isn't impossible to do such a thing. Or, well, it _might_ not be.

He groans quietly, too tired to suppress a smile at the whispered giggle Patton lets out.

"Janus, everything's going to be okay," he says gently. "Grades aren't everything."

Managing only a scoff, Janus sits up straight and rubs the aching from his eyes. He admires the flashing lights and colourful patterns behind his lids before leaning back in his seat.

"Actually," he starts off, monotonous, "to be an Auror, my grades must be of the highest standard. And even then, there are so many things I need to _do_."

Patton gasps. "You want to be an Auror?!"

Janus nods curtly and sighs. "Yes, which is why I need to better my grades. They aren't exactly... good, right now."

"What do you mean?" Patton asks. "Your grades on the exams last year were among the highest in our year!"

Combing his fingers through his hair, Janus cringes at the greasy strands threading against his skin; he needs to take a shower soon. He forgets his poor hygiene for a moment, however, forcing his concentration back to the dull pages of his textbook. Patton sighs.

"Janus, you need to take a break," he chides. "Avoiding self-care isn't going to help your grades. It'll probably make them worse."

"You don't understand," Janus says, voice rising to a firm half-whisper. "I need to be better. My self-care routine is fine, I just need to shower. And maybe take a sip of water, or something."

He sighs sharply. "I'm fine."

Patton only frowns, shifting so his chair has slid sideways and turned more to face the Slytherin. "Why are you torturing yourself over this? Is becoming an Auror really that important to you?"

The room somehow seems to grow more silent, not even the turning pages of several books can cut through it. Janus bites the inside of his cheek, finding it more and more difficult to focus on the notes in front of him. He, again, sighs.

"Yes," he whispers.

"For five years, we've had to fight our own battles with very little help from those we're meant to depend on," he continues, exhausted. "At such young ages, we've had to defend ourselves from an evil that's _still_ too intense to fully comprehend. As an Auror, I could prevent this history from repeating itself."

He's had to watch, time and time again, as his friends and loved ones have been attacked, disgraced, and very nearly taken from him. Traumatising experiences for anyone and definitely a valid reason for his career choice.

But Patton, being the observant saint he is, sees right through him and smiles. "That's lovely. I just... I wish there was something I could do to help you."

"Just being with you helps me breathe," Janus assures him, hiding his face by leaning further into his hand.

He can't see it, but somehow, he knows Patton is smiling. "I'll always be here. Whenever you need me."

Slowly, cautiously, Janus reaches for the hand resting atop the table beside his books and covers it with his own. Patton's hand seems to tense for a moment before they both relax. Janus takes the next few seconds to just... breathe.

"Thank you."


End file.
